Leaving Laurel Run

Sep 17, 2012

  It has been two years since I have written here so here goes. After discovering that much of what I had been taught was questionable...history, religion, social norms just to name a few, my life turned inward in search of who I really am and where things went wrong. Despite my popularity and my self image being somewhat extraordinary I still felt an emptiness. I felt alone. What was I missing, or better yet... who was I missing?

  After several years of rearing two sons on my own I decided that it was about time to strike out in search of a companion, but no woman could catch my eye...until my eyes laid upon a Facebook picture of my first love, my high school sweet heart...the one that got away. It took some doing and a month of phone calls, but she eventually came to my home...some 200 miles away from where she was living. After 22 years we were reunited. At first sight she was like the the summary of all sunshine, every rainbow and smile ever to grace humanity! She felt heavenly...a the greatest gift God could have given me at that point in my life. A second chance at regaining first love, possibly the only woman I had ever loved.

  That night I sang my version of "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters to her. She cried...seemed touched to the very core of her being. This was what I was waiting for all of this time. The years of emptiness shrouded in drink and dead end nights playing in a band were finally over. Our first weekend together was bliss. At dawn, when the all of the birds are loud and full of life, they sang to me, "She's back"..."Richie, SHE'S BACK!" I could hardly sleep and when I did awake to see her lying next to me it was difficult to believe that she wasn't in my dreams. It was surreal, sublime...BIGGER THAN LIFE! The best I could feel was back and I would go to the ends of my being to ensure that feeling would never stop again. I thought of being without her again caused such emptiness that my heart could not bear my mind's tendency to torture the soft side of my psyche. All of this has led to this day, nearly two years later, and a series of events that challenges my comprehension as to what separates perseverance from and ego trip. More to come later as I update just how and why I came to this place...away from my home and everything that was "me" to be with her.  

What about me?

I don't know too much, but I know my parents have always steered me in the right direction.
My mother told me, "Time draws a rosy curtain." We forget what life is about if not reminded. After a while of ignoring the good things it is very difficult to find enjoyment in the blessings that are all around us. I tend to be egotistic, and it is a dangerous flaw. When I drink alcohol too often it ruins my perspective. It makes me depressed. I makes me stupid. It ruins my life and everybody around me gets a scratch and dent version of me. I can't blame alcohol. I blame myself for not having the fortitude to just stay away from it. My dilemma is not unlike yours, if you have a drinking problem. Alcohol does not make anything go away, it just prolongs the inevitable suffering one must go through to learn and grow. I don't even drink daily. But when I do it for three or four days in the evenings, it screws up my whole vibe. What's the point? The point is that because of my own weakness I make life unbearable for myself sometimes. Moving away is not the answer. Any decent woman would not tolerate my uncertainty. I don't need a woman. I need to be a good father and son and friend. Those things alone are hard to do well, but the significance of them is huge.

When a person starts believing his own lies it's a good time to do an overhaul. It is that time for me. I have been blessed with two wonderful sons and good parents. Time to repent, again. That I do know.

Paved Paradise

Who voted "YES" for the arena? Did you also vote for lots of pavement and law enforcement to patrol private properties in that area? Walmart is also located there in that "Park". The jobs created there are low-paying for the most part and do not involve any manufacturing whatsoever.
The Chinese are kicking in American doors subtlety. Do you want to live on a sinking ship? I don't either. I know that we are forced to buy products from other countries. Why? A company can make more money from enslaving the Chinese, Malaysians and others like them. There aren't labor laws in those countries like we have here. Overtime? HAH! Benefits...please.

In closing due to limited attention spans and my own time I want you, the reader to consider why our country is failing. Do you think BIG corps like Walmart and the NFL are in our best interest?
Do they care about you? NO! They want you to go to work and give your pay to them...for junk and parking lots. Ever wonder where all of the oil slicks, antifreeze and broken down pavement washes away to? Go look at the Susquehanna River some day...take a drink. I dare you!

Take The Stupid Pill

Distraction and time are huge words when their true definitions are known. When mentioned together they take on a sinister marriage of unknown proportions. There are really big problems that can wait no longer to be addressed, yet people can still be drawn away from importance by silly bullshit. If a person is preoccupied with a cell phone application he does not see the child who is about to walk in front of a bus. It would be better if he just bit the grill himself. There are many of us who are drawing attention to deep matters of existence only to be beaten back by fatback ribs and a set of boobs, or a sale on furry blanket junk. I feel for the ones who are lost in the corporate brainwash. That is why I post links on facebook to videos that I feel are gravely important such as internment camps, dumbing down of society and what I feel to be accurate history lessons.

If it doesn't make sense then you should look further into why it doesn't make sense to you and who made it this confusing to begin with. Does it matter who wins or loses the big game? Does it really matter to you? Do you feel like you won or lost when you never did actually participate in the contest. Distraction is the name of the game, and as long as we are stupid enough to be led to slaughter then I guess that is where some of us belong. Children don't know any better, and they deserve many chances at seeing the light. What is any different between them and you? My children aren't going to dig graves for those who lay down and die. They will for those who fight.
I am beginning to remember where I was and why I chose to come back...granted they are flashes of the past...but they are BIG, profound flashes of meaning. I am here as a messenger and will ultimately be murdered for it, but until they figure out how powerful the written word is I will make a difference and in that I will live to keep fighting. Right now we are at a crux in human experience. It could go either way. I want paradise and free everything for all people. In a world that could easily feed it's people three times over, how the flip are people starving to death? 25,000 a day, and that's a low number.

Can't you see how materialism is gobbling up our minds and souls? Can you see the solution? Well neither can I entirely, but I know that any journey consists of many small steps. What purpose were you created for? Was it iPODS and sneakers? Sorry if it was, now I can believe in purgatory...it is all around me in these distractions and the walking dead. Please wake up fellow humans. Look around at the place we call home....earth...traveling 450,000 miles an hour and we get bored going for a walk. These machines and plastic shits can't sustain you. They are only tools to connect us and make life easier. Don't cry over a wet cell phone. Cry over our dead children who starve to death everyday. Cry over an apathy that has engulfed the greatest country known to exist in this period of man's existence. Or maybe not...what's on TV tonight?

BLAM!!!!!!!!!! Shut it off and do something.

List of resources

I am not doing this for acclaim or money. It is for the love of all benevolent entities in the third and fourth dimensions. I was in training for a while, and yet while I remain it is time to start a new construct. This will be brief. Here is a short list of some of the most compelling authors and researchers I have been cross-checking and filtering. They all appear to be genuine and have our best interest in mind.

BILL DEAGLE PROJECT CAMELOT
GEORGE GREEN TALMUD OF JMANNUEL
DAVID WILCOCK
DAVID ICKE
RICHARD C. HOAGLAND
ALEX COLLIER
BROOKS AGNEW
BOB DEAN
CHARLETTE ISERBYT

Real Stuff

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3340274697167011147&hl=en-CA

I usually entertain the idiots with garbage. It keeps them in the dark. It keeps them stupid. For those of you who know who chave ty is you will find this to be very interesting.

Pick It

I use the finger mouse to pick people's noses who piss me off. YOu dirty girl...booger bitch...lol. How adolescent is that? Beats guns